I hate this place

So I pull up to school today after having split Yale's coffee all down my leg (yes, I smell like coffee) and am driving his car, the Cavalier, which, while clean, doesn't make me feel all that glamourous. I feel gross because I've spent the morning cleaning up a baby soaked in vomit, changing his poopy diaper, taking out the trash and starting his blanket that is also soaked in vomit in the washer so he will sleep tonight. My skin looks like crap and my hair is ratty. I don't want to be here because I am exhausted (the previously mentioned vomit soaked baby didn't sleep well even when he wasn't vomit soaked) and I know I will learn NOTHING in class. I also have no Provigil to give me an artifical sense of energy and goodwill towards men. I am depressed because I keep reading Facebook status updates about how people are never going to have to be in school again and I searched on the federal/state job database and found several positions for an archeologist (erg, where were these 3 years ago?) and also many jobs in agencies that I could apply for if I was graduating.I pull into the parking lot behind whom you may ask?
Miss Perfect. Her blond hair is perfectly blow dried and she is wearing shorts--a garment I haven't worn in public in at least four years. She steps out of her brand new Mercedes SUV with the confidence of having a job upon graduation.
It's days like this that I remember why I developed an eating disorder.

Yes, I am wasting time

I should be studying right now. I'm not.
I now have a plan--and all of you who have tons of student loans and want to get rid of them, take note.
I went to a seminar last week about using public service to repay student loans. The basics are this: work for a non-profit (ex: schools, hospitals, etc.) or the government, have a certain kind of federal loan, make 120 payments on these loans as determined by your income, and after 10 years anything left is forgiven by Uncle Sam. It's not quite as cut and dry as that, but if anyone wants anymore info, e-mail me and I'll be happy to share.
This means I'm (hopefully) going to be working for the government when I graduate. I don't really care what that job is--I just want the benefits and loan forgiveness. I will be happy working to (hopefully) do some good and have some good payback as such.
I have become so jaded by the legal community that I doubt I will ever be able to practice law in any extensive degree. I just hate the idea of screwing over someone for no other reason than they don't have enough money to hire a better lawyer. I also can't stand the ego some of my fellow law students have simply because they are going to have a J.D. FYI: there are some people in prison who know more about criminal law than anyone here ever will.
Can I just reiterate how cool Jonah is? Sometimes he is SO frustrating, but I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is only 8 months old and gets his plans thwarted simply by being picked up and placed somewhere else. That would irritate me too.

Long time, no see

It's been forever since I last posted, mainly because I had to get another computer (the 3rd in 3 years) and I lost all of my old websites. That however, has changed, and now I hope to be updating a little more regularly.
What's going on in Murphyland? Jonah's crawling like a champ and, of course, goes everywhere he shouldn't. I have a feeling that "No, Jonah, No!" will become the refrain of his childhood. What gets me is that he always goes for the grossest things: cell phones, remote controls (TV and otherwise), shoes...the list goes on and on. And of course, everything has to go in his mouth. Luckily, I have the compulsion to never throw anything away so I have old remotes that don't go to anything and now they belong to Jonah. Sadly, all my old cell phones are too heavy to interest him (I now know how technilogically insignificant I am if cell phones I got in college are now heavy) so he is continuing to chew on mine whenever he can steal it. Still no teeth, but not for lack of drooling. I'm terrified that this child will never have a tooth and will go through life in dentures until his permanant teeth come in.
Shortly after J-sizzle began crawling, he learned a new trick: standing up. That's right, the skill that isn't supposed to be learned until around 10 months, my child started performing at 7. I am now greeted by his smiling/screaming little face peaking over the crib in the morning while he holds onto the bars like a criminal demanding release. He doesn't seem to be interested in trying to walk just yet; I have a feeling he only wanted to stand to get to things I would put out of his reach on the couch. His preferred means of locomotion is still crawling but I'm sure once he realizes how much more he can do if he walks that will no longer be the case.
Also, he's tall. He is just about 8 months old and is wearing some 12 month clothes. My little preemie no longer looks as such. His feet are big too, which is kind of funny--he acts like they get in his way when he's crawling.
Needless to say, sitting has long been mastered even though sometimes he gets so involved in what he's chewing on he will topple over. The fireplace has bumpers on it and the sockets have plugs in them. His bumper pads have had to stay on his crib, against all SIDS related guidelines, because he scoots in his sleeps and bangs his head against the sides. I prefer no concussions over the very small chance of SIDS (God help me if that chance affects Jonah).
Exams are coming up and I'm not at all happy about this. I feel like I've not learned anything and am rushing to figure it all out. I also have to find time to study with a very fast moving Jonah. Luckily my dad and Yale's mom are willing to keep E-Z-J as much as we need them to (sine Yale's in the middle of taking the CPA exam this helps more than anyone without children could know). I am going to be taking classes like crazy this summer to try and have a very light fall load. I would rather be insane for two months and normal for the fall than have to meet myself coming and going later.
I still want to loose about 20 lbs. (who am I kidding, I want to loose 40!) but I've accepted myself the way I am now, mainly because I don't have time to worry about it, but also because I am always reminded that my son thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I also tell myself that at least I've had a child and am fat; most people don't even have that excuse.