An Aside

Is anyone else watching Project Runway and Top Design? I record them and watch them when I am home with Little Man and have some very strong opinions on both.
Project Runway: Korto needs to win. If anyone thinks differently, they haven't been watching the show. She has not turned out anything that looks crappy or is ugly. She has never been in the bottom and is completely consistent. I would LOVE her to design something for me!
At first I hated Blayne but I was actually sad to see him go. I am so over Kennley. She is good at what she does but not everyone looks right in a 40s style dress with flowered print and tulle. Show something new!
Top Design: It's still early, but right now I like Andrea and Eddie. Andrea has great taste and isn't so hung up on modern design, the way lots of designers can be. Eddie is WAY hyper and makes me nervous when they follow him, but I think he's really talented. He has a great eye for style. We'll see what happens this week.
What's with the Thai guy? He drives me crazy. Stop giggling and WORK. Cary shouldn't have gone home last week but he did because he got Giggly for a partner who SUCKS. I really can't wait for him to leave.

Please, anyone else watching either show, share your thoughts.

Think Before You Act

While I try to keep this blog about Jonah and his life, I just couldn't help but post this. I feel it has a connection because I don't want my little boy to grow up in a world where this behavior is a very real possibility.

Palin's town charged women for rape exams

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's hometown required women to pay for their own rape examinations while she was mayor, a practice her police chief fought to keep as late as 2000.

A former Alaskan lawmaker says it seems unlikely that Gov. Sarah Palin was unaware of Wasilla's policy.

Former state Rep. Eric Croft, a Democrat, sponsored a state law requiring cities to provide the examinations free of charge to victims. He said the only ongoing resistance he met was from Wasilla, where Palin was mayor from 1996 to 2002.

"It was one of those things everyone could agree on except Wasilla," Croft told CNN. "We couldn't convince the chief of police to stop charging them."

Alaska's Legislature in 2000 banned the practice of charging women for rape exam kits -- which experts said could cost up to $1,000.

Palin, the Republican nominee for vice president, often talks about her experience running Wasilla, population approximately 7,000, and that has prompted close scrutiny of her record there. Wasilla's practice of charging victims for their rape exams while she was mayor has gotten wide circulation on the Internet and in the mainstream media. Watch CNN's Jessica Yellin check the facts in Wasilla »

Some supporters of Palin say they believe she had no knowledge of the practice. But critics call it "outrageous" and question Palin's commitment to helping women who are the victims of violence.

For years, Alaska has had the worst record of any state in rape and in murder of women by men. The rape rate in Alaska is 2.5 times the national average.

Interviews and a review of records turned up no evidence that Palin knew that rape victims were being charged in her town. But Croft, the former state representative who sponsored the law changing the practice, says it seems unlikely Palin was not aware of the issue.

"I find it hard to believe that for six months a small town, a police chief, would lead the fight against a statewide piece of legislation receiving unanimous support and the mayor not know about it," Croft said.

During the time Palin was mayor of Wasilla, her city was not the only one in Alaska charging rape victims. Experts testified before the Legislature that in a handful of small cities across Alaska, law enforcement agencies were charging victims or their insurance "more than sporadically."

One woman who wrote in support of the legislation says she was charged for her rape exam by a police department in the city of Juneau, which is hundreds of miles from Wasilla.

But Wasilla stood out. Tara Henry, a forensic nurse who has been treating rape victims across Alaska for the last 12 years, told CNN that opposition to Croft's bill from Wasilla Police Chief Charlie Fannon was memorable.

"Several municipal law enforcement agencies in the state did have trouble budgeting and paying for the evidence collection for sexual assault victims," Henry said. "What I recall is that the chief of police in the Wasilla police department seemed to be the most vocal about how it was going to affect their budget."

Croft has a similar memory. He said victims' advocates suggested he introduce legislation as a way to shame cities into changing their practice, and Wasilla resisted.

"I remember they had continued opposition," Croft said. "It was eight years ago now, but they were sort of unrepentant that they thought the taxpayers shouldn't have to pay for that."

He does not recall discussing the issue with then-Mayor Palin.

The bill, HB270, was before the legislature for six months. In testimony, one expert called the practice of billing the victim "incomprehensible." Others compared it to "dust[ing] for fingerprints" after a burglary, only "the victim's body is the crime scene."

During a rape exam, the victim removes her clothing and a medical professional gathers DNA evidence from her body. There is also a medical component to assess her injuries. That component has led some law enforcement agencies to balk at paying.

Henry, the forensic nurse, said charging victims "retraumatizes them."

"Asking them to pay for something law enforcement needs in order to investigate their case, it's almost like blaming them for getting sexually assaulted," she said.

The Alaska Legislature agreed. The bill passed unanimously with the support of the Alaska Department of Public Safety, the Alaska Peace Officers Association and more than two dozen co-sponsors.

After it became law, Wasilla's police chief told the local paper, The Frontiersman, that it would cost the city $5,000 to $14,000 a year -- money that he'd have to find.

"In the past, we've charged the cost of the exams to the victim's insurance company when possible," Fannon was quoted as saying. "I just don't want to see any more burden on the taxpayer."

He suggested the criminals should pay as restitution if and when they're convicted. Repeated attempts to reach Fannon for comment were unsuccessful.

Judy Patrick, who was Palin's deputy mayor and friend, blames the state.

"The bigger picture of what was going on at the time was that the state was trying to cut their own budget, and one of the things that they were doing was passing on costs to cities, and that was one of the many things that they were passing on, the cost to the city," said Patrick, who recalls enormous pressure to keep the city's budget down.

But the state was never responsible for paying the costs of local investigations. Patrick was also a member of Wasilla City Council, and she doesn't recall the issue coming before council members, nor does she remember discussing the issue with Palin.

She does recall Palin going through the budget in detail. She said Palin would review each department's budget line by line and send it back to department heads with her changes.

"Sarah is a fiscal conservative, and so she had seen that the city was heading in a direction of bigger projects, costing taxpayers more money, and she was determined to change that," Patrick said.

Before Palin came to City Hall, the Wasilla Police Department paid for rape kits out of a fund for miscellaneous costs, according to the police chief who preceded Fannon and was fired by Palin. That budget line was cut by more than half during Palin's tenure, but it did not specifically mention rape exams.

In a statement, Jill Hazelbaker, communications director for Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign, said that "to imply that Gov. Palin is or has ever been an advocate of charging victims for evidence gathering kits is an utter distortion of reality."

"As her record shows, Gov. Palin is committed to supporting victims and bringing violent criminals to justice," Hazelbaker said. "She does not, nor has she ever believed that rape victims should have to pay for an evidence gathering test."

Those who fought the policy are unconvinced.

"It's incomprehensible to me that this could be a rogue police chief and not a policy decision. It lasted too long and it was too high-profile," Croft said.

The rape kit charges have become an issue among Palin critics who say as governor she has not done enough to combat Alaska's epidemic problem of violence against women. They point to a small funding increase for domestic violence shelters at a time when Alaska has a multibillion-dollar budget surplus. Victims' advocates say that services are lacking and that Palin cut funding for a number of programs that treat female victims of violence.

In the past week, Alaska's challenges with sexual assault have been in the spotlight again -- in connection with an ongoing inquiry into whether Palin abused her power by firing the head of Alaska's Department of Public Safety. Palin's office released e-mails showing that one area of disagreement between her and Department of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan was his lobbying in Washington for $30 million to fund a new program of sexual assault response teams.

The McCain-Palin campaign insists that fighting domestic violence and sexual assault are priorities for Palin. And they say she has been looking at other programs to support. As governor, Palin approved a funding increase for domestic violence shelters -- $266,200 over two years. And she reauthorized a Council on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/21/palin.rape.exams/index.html

Busy Busy

I promise I will finish the birth story as soon as I get some extra energy.
Jonah is doing very well--he's weighing in around 8 lbs. and is a very good baby. He only cries when he's hungry and that is very easily remedied. I am totally in love!

They Don't Call It Labor for Nothing

The anesthesiologist still isn’t there a few minutes later and one of the nurses hits my IV with the Stadol. It was like I had just drunk four margaritas in quick succession; I could still feel the pain but I didn’t really care anymore. Just about that time the anesthesiologist finally strolls in the room. I have a nurse on either side of me trying to get me through the contractions and finish admitting me and Yale fanning me with some random laminated folders that happened to be in the room while this guy asks me questions that I could have much more easily answered had he been there earlier. Am I allergic to anything? No. What medication am I currently taking? I responded to that one by jabbing Yale in the stomach because I could not speak due to the pain he was supposed to be preventing. The doctor was very lucky that I was unable to get out of the bed, as I was not feeling too charitable to the male half of the human species at that moment and I certainly wasn’t feeling charitable to him, especially with the attitude he had. I’m sorry sir that my child decided to be born after you had already gone home for the evening and that my labor was inconvenient for you, but considering you are making an awful lot of money for this, you can kiss my ass. When he was finished asking the questions he could have found the answers to in my chart, which he was flipping through, he asked the magical question: Are you ready for your epidural?

Now remember, I had been given a rather powerful drug that relaxed me enough to feel great hatred towards the man who arrogantly was standing in front of me as if he were God. I had already had this conversation with the nurse before I was given drugs and pissed off and at that time I was undecided. I stared at the guy who was as sympathetic to my pain as I was to his having to leave his house in order for him to do his job. While I may have been in pain and this may have been the person able to relieve it, I was still Jenna and still mean and lucid enough to know the victory I was about to claim. “No thanks. I’ve gotten this far without it; I’m pretty sure I can make it the rest of the way.”

There was no going back at this point. I had gone without anything but Tylenol for most of the day and I certainly wasn’t going to voluntarily do something to myself that was going to prolong this, no matter how much less discomfort I was going to experience. Jenna was getting this shit done.

The on call doctor arrived and introduced herself to me—this is when things started going really fast. It seemed like everyone (except Dr. God) was in the room. Yale was told to grab one leg, a nurse grabbed the other, and off we went. My water was broken and the contractions began even faster. I hadn’t planned on a natural birth so my poor nurses had to talk me through it. I had so many directions being hurled my way I felt like I was some poor understudy who never planned on having to star on opening night.

Of course one pushes with each contraction—I had learned that a long time ago from watching Discovery Health. What I didn’t know was that I was going to have one rather annoying nurse standing over my left shoulder telling me to push when I wasn’t having a contraction and to breathe when I was. Had I not been so busy, I believe I would have punched her. This was the same nurse who was saying “Don’t make so much noise, you’re just going to tire yourself out.” Now, I didn’t want to make a scene and had not planned on screaming or anything. However, when one is doing something as primal as giving birth without pain killers, a little noise should be expected. I personally didn’t think I was that loud and it wasn’t like I was yelling curse words (although I could have and she just didn’t even know). Luckily, a more competent nurse told her to stop trying to direct me because I was doing just fine.

I was having trouble breathing even though I had an oxygen mask. The contractions were coming so fast I didn’t have time to catch my breath between them. I knew I should have not pushed on every contraction (everyone was telling me to slow down), but the sensation to do so is overwhelming. I can honestly say I have never been so concentrated on what my body was doing that almost everything else was blocked out—there was no reasoning with myself, no thinking about what I should do, just what I was doing. I did hear them say the baby’s heart rate was slowing down.

8 cm

I still had three weeks left until my due date. I had been ignoring Yale's urging to pack my hospital bag and no baby clothes were clean--they were just hanging in the nursery. When we told my mom we were finally going to the hospital she came over to help. I wasn't lucid enough to pack my own things, and honestly most of what I would have packed needed washing, so she just threw a bunch of things in a bag--luckily I was able to remember a few necessities (like shampoo) and added them to the lot. I remembered reading online to take my own pillow and make sure the case was a bright color so it wouldn't get confused with hospital bedding; we had to go back inside to get it and a red pillow case.
By this time, about 8:15 or so, it had been raining for a while, a nice steady rain that wasn't letting up. I squeezed into the front seat of the Focus (the infant seat in the back crowded the front passenger seat almost into the windshield) and Yale began driving. We didn't call Yale's parents and told mine to take their time getting ready to go to the hospital because if I really was in labor it would be a long wait. I had to tell Yale a few times to slow down because I was not going to be standing on the side of the road in the rain if he had an accident.
We arrive at River Oaks at 8:38 (I remember because we were able to take the main entrance to the Baby Suites; after 9 you have to enter through a side door). We go to the second floor (luckily Yale had the presence of mind to ask the doctor where to go as I had been planning on having this discussion with my doctor at the next appointment, therefore I had no clue) and walk off the elevator. The entire floor was empty except for a woman sitting in the hall with a toddler talking on her cell phone. I guess she read the pain on my face and asked if we needed help. Yale told her we were looking for labor and delivery. She said we needed to go and press the button on the wall and that the nurses would let us in. I go and push the button.
Nothing happens. No one comes over the intercom to ask if they could help us. I push again. Again nothing. Yale is beginning to freak out. He starts to stalk down the hall in the opposite direction in search of SOMEONE. I push the button one more time and a rather impatient voice comes over and says, "Yes?" "Um....I think I'm in labor."
The door is unlocked and we walk down the corridor towards what looks like an official looking spot. "You haven't been here before have you?" Yale and I look at each other. I'm wondering why this woman is asking us if we'd been there, almost like one asks in a restaurant, when she clarifies, "You haven't preregistered have you?" "No." I manage to grunt as I am leaning against the counter holding my belly. I am told to go to a room while Yale begins the paperwork.

The room was dark and I had no idea what I was supposed to do so I just kind of stand there. A nurse finally comes in and turns on the light and leaves. Then another comes in and starts getting things going. I put on a hospital gown and she wants to do an examination. Yale is there beside me holding my hand.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to be very calm right now,” says the nurse. Great, I think, I’m probably about 2 cm out of 10 dilated and will have to sit here all night until these stupid contractions subside. “You’re 8 cm dilated.”

“WHAT?! Are you kidding?” I manage to gasp, incomplete shock.

“What’s that mean?” asks Yale.

“It means we’re having a baby. And soon,” the nurse replies as she practically runs from the room to get everyone else moving. It’s about 9 o’clock.

The only thing I could think of was that he was still 3 weeks early. That means that his lungs, which are the last to fully mature, may not be ready. Had I been like any other sane woman, and gone to the hospital that morning, I would probably been given something to stop the contractions and then been given steroids that would help his lungs mature faster. As it was I stubborn and now we were way past stopping anything.

“Are you getting an epidural?”

“Uh, I guess so. I had planned to,” I said, thinking that I had planned to when I was envisioning myself getting to the hospital with hours and hours of labor ahead of me. As it was, I didn’t know how much I had but I knew it wasn’t hours.

“Well, we’ve called the anesthesiologist and he’s on his way.”

“How far away is he?” I grunt as another contraction begins.

Ten minutes and many painful contractions later the anesthesiologist still isn’t there.

“Okay, here’s the deal. Your water hasn’t broken so the doctor will break it when she gets here. If you get an epidural you won’t feel anything but it will slow the labor down. I’m not trying to dissuade you from having pain medication but you’re up to 9 cm and that baby is coming.”

I ask if there is anything they can give me to take the edge off. They say yes, Stadol, but if I get it the baby will be really lethargic when he gets here. I decide to wait.

General Tso's Chicken

Just a piece of advice: when nine months pregnant, don't eat a meal that could cause you to mistake labor for gas pains or indigestion.
Tuesday morning began much like any day--the alarm went off for Yale at 6 o'clock and he got up to get a shower. I had had trouble sleeping the night before but this was not a new development; I hadn't slept really well all night for about 4 months. I laid there for a bit, thinking that my General Tso's Chicken from the night before hadn't settled well. I thought, like most pregnant women, great, I get to deal with having gas today on top of everything else I need to do.
I had some breakfast (which I strangely can't remember) and got back in the bed after Yale went to work because I was feeling so crappy. My mother had taken the day off because she too had had the GTC for Monday night's dinner and wasn't feeling well either. I watched some of the Olympic coverage with Deuce and Tess, all the while getting really angry about the Chinese food. I wasn't doubled over in pain but I certainly wasn't ready to go to the grocery store (which I needed to do desperately) or do laundry (which, again, really needed to be done).
I began to think that maybe I was feeling so bad because not only had I eaten that evil food, but I was also having Braxton-Hicks contractions. I had been having them off and on for a few weeks, possibly longer that I just didn't notice, with the latest bout having been on Sunday. I had felt wonderful Monday, Rachel even came by for a visit during which we watched Platinum Weddings and insulted the rich bitch bride for spending $12,000 on a custom made Amsale gown that looked like it was made from synthetic satin.
Fast forward to lunchtime. Yale is very concerned, as he had been whenever I even mentioned feeling slightly odd, and tells me to call the doctor. I really didn't want to because my symptoms were so vague: just a slight discomfort in the lower abdomen that I had already dismissed as indigestion and cramping that I had explained as very normal Braxton-Hicks contractions. I did as he asked, however, and called and left a message for the triage nurse, as my doctor/nurse combo was in surgery. She called back about an hour later, I described my symptoms and what I thought they were, and she agreed with me that it was most likely a very normal, very inane event with a woman who was 36, almost 37, weeks pregnant. I was advised to eat some lunch, take some Tylenol, relax in the tub, and call if any signs of labor developed. I had my weekly appointment with my doctor the next morning and I decided that I would just wait and go to that before freaking out and demanding to be seen that afternoon.
By late afternoon, around 4 or so, I was beginning to get irritated. I had been looking all day online for a definite way for me to tell if I was in labor or not. My back was hurting but, again, I was 36 weeks pregnant and had gained about 35 lbs. by this point--of course my back was hurting! But my abdominal cramps were getting more painful, which I attributed to my impatience at the situation and my exhaustion from having been dealing with them since the night before, and I just wanted to know what was going on. I got back in the hot bath and was trying to decide with my mother what to do. She is not a person to get birth advice from and she was as confused by my symptoms as I was. The lists online for "Labor" and "False Labor" both had symptoms I was having. I still didn't think I was in labor, although I had to admit that if I wasn't it was a pretty convincing false alarm.
My mom had made dinner for herself and my dad, and made some for Yale and I also since I had been feeling so horrible all day. She brought it over right before it started raining.
Yale got home around 6 and commenced asking very reasonable questions, which just served to annoy me. I was so convinced that this was false labor I wouldn't entertain any other options. We sat down and ate, me stopping every few minutes to deal with a cramp. After dinner I decided, at the urging of Yale and my parents, to call the doctor's office and get the on call doctor to discuss my symptoms with me. She called and I told her I didn't think I was in real labor, my water hadn't broken, and that I hadn't been timing the "contractions" because there was no rhyme or reason to them--nothing regular, nothing to time. She told me to try and start timing them for an hour and to call if there were any developments. This was about 7 pm. We tried to use an online contraction timer for a while but it kept messing up--it was saying that my contractions were about 2 to 3 minutes apart, which couldn't be possible (at least I thought so). I finally looked at Yale around 8 and said "If this isn't real labor than it's a really mean joke. Let's go to the hospital so that they can either stop this or can go ahead and get real labor moving." Yale called the on call doctor and told her the new developments and she agreed that we should go to the hospital, if for nothing else than to be reassured that nothing was really happening.

A Model in the Making