So I pull up to school today after having split Yale's coffee all down my leg (yes, I smell like coffee) and am driving his car, the Cavalier, which, while clean, doesn't make me feel all that glamourous. I feel gross because I've spent the morning cleaning up a baby soaked in vomit, changing his poopy diaper, taking out the trash and starting his blanket that is also soaked in vomit in the washer so he will sleep tonight. My skin looks like crap and my hair is ratty. I don't want to be here because I am exhausted (the previously mentioned vomit soaked baby didn't sleep well even when he wasn't vomit soaked) and I know I will learn NOTHING in class. I also have no Provigil to give me an artifical sense of energy and goodwill towards men. I am depressed because I keep reading Facebook status updates about how people are never going to have to be in school again and I searched on the federal/state job database and found several positions for an archeologist (erg, where were these 3 years ago?) and also many jobs in agencies that I could apply for if I was graduating.I pull into the parking lot behind whom you may ask?
Miss Perfect. Her blond hair is perfectly blow dried and she is wearing shorts--a garment I haven't worn in public in at least four years. She steps out of her brand new Mercedes SUV with the confidence of having a job upon graduation.
It's days like this that I remember why I developed an eating disorder.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Yes, I am wasting time
I should be studying right now. I'm not.
I now have a plan--and all of you who have tons of student loans and want to get rid of them, take note.
I went to a seminar last week about using public service to repay student loans. The basics are this: work for a non-profit (ex: schools, hospitals, etc.) or the government, have a certain kind of federal loan, make 120 payments on these loans as determined by your income, and after 10 years anything left is forgiven by Uncle Sam. It's not quite as cut and dry as that, but if anyone wants anymore info, e-mail me and I'll be happy to share.
This means I'm (hopefully) going to be working for the government when I graduate. I don't really care what that job is--I just want the benefits and loan forgiveness. I will be happy working to (hopefully) do some good and have some good payback as such.
I have become so jaded by the legal community that I doubt I will ever be able to practice law in any extensive degree. I just hate the idea of screwing over someone for no other reason than they don't have enough money to hire a better lawyer. I also can't stand the ego some of my fellow law students have simply because they are going to have a J.D. FYI: there are some people in prison who know more about criminal law than anyone here ever will.
Can I just reiterate how cool Jonah is? Sometimes he is SO frustrating, but I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is only 8 months old and gets his plans thwarted simply by being picked up and placed somewhere else. That would irritate me too.
I now have a plan--and all of you who have tons of student loans and want to get rid of them, take note.
I went to a seminar last week about using public service to repay student loans. The basics are this: work for a non-profit (ex: schools, hospitals, etc.) or the government, have a certain kind of federal loan, make 120 payments on these loans as determined by your income, and after 10 years anything left is forgiven by Uncle Sam. It's not quite as cut and dry as that, but if anyone wants anymore info, e-mail me and I'll be happy to share.
This means I'm (hopefully) going to be working for the government when I graduate. I don't really care what that job is--I just want the benefits and loan forgiveness. I will be happy working to (hopefully) do some good and have some good payback as such.
I have become so jaded by the legal community that I doubt I will ever be able to practice law in any extensive degree. I just hate the idea of screwing over someone for no other reason than they don't have enough money to hire a better lawyer. I also can't stand the ego some of my fellow law students have simply because they are going to have a J.D. FYI: there are some people in prison who know more about criminal law than anyone here ever will.
Can I just reiterate how cool Jonah is? Sometimes he is SO frustrating, but I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is only 8 months old and gets his plans thwarted simply by being picked up and placed somewhere else. That would irritate me too.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Long time, no see
It's been forever since I last posted, mainly because I had to get another computer (the 3rd in 3 years) and I lost all of my old websites. That however, has changed, and now I hope to be updating a little more regularly.
What's going on in Murphyland? Jonah's crawling like a champ and, of course, goes everywhere he shouldn't. I have a feeling that "No, Jonah, No!" will become the refrain of his childhood. What gets me is that he always goes for the grossest things: cell phones, remote controls (TV and otherwise), shoes...the list goes on and on. And of course, everything has to go in his mouth. Luckily, I have the compulsion to never throw anything away so I have old remotes that don't go to anything and now they belong to Jonah. Sadly, all my old cell phones are too heavy to interest him (I now know how technilogically insignificant I am if cell phones I got in college are now heavy) so he is continuing to chew on mine whenever he can steal it. Still no teeth, but not for lack of drooling. I'm terrified that this child will never have a tooth and will go through life in dentures until his permanant teeth come in.
Shortly after J-sizzle began crawling, he learned a new trick: standing up. That's right, the skill that isn't supposed to be learned until around 10 months, my child started performing at 7. I am now greeted by his smiling/screaming little face peaking over the crib in the morning while he holds onto the bars like a criminal demanding release. He doesn't seem to be interested in trying to walk just yet; I have a feeling he only wanted to stand to get to things I would put out of his reach on the couch. His preferred means of locomotion is still crawling but I'm sure once he realizes how much more he can do if he walks that will no longer be the case.
Also, he's tall. He is just about 8 months old and is wearing some 12 month clothes. My little preemie no longer looks as such. His feet are big too, which is kind of funny--he acts like they get in his way when he's crawling.
Needless to say, sitting has long been mastered even though sometimes he gets so involved in what he's chewing on he will topple over. The fireplace has bumpers on it and the sockets have plugs in them. His bumper pads have had to stay on his crib, against all SIDS related guidelines, because he scoots in his sleeps and bangs his head against the sides. I prefer no concussions over the very small chance of SIDS (God help me if that chance affects Jonah).
Exams are coming up and I'm not at all happy about this. I feel like I've not learned anything and am rushing to figure it all out. I also have to find time to study with a very fast moving Jonah. Luckily my dad and Yale's mom are willing to keep E-Z-J as much as we need them to (sine Yale's in the middle of taking the CPA exam this helps more than anyone without children could know). I am going to be taking classes like crazy this summer to try and have a very light fall load. I would rather be insane for two months and normal for the fall than have to meet myself coming and going later.
I still want to loose about 20 lbs. (who am I kidding, I want to loose 40!) but I've accepted myself the way I am now, mainly because I don't have time to worry about it, but also because I am always reminded that my son thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I also tell myself that at least I've had a child and am fat; most people don't even have that excuse.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Jesus Christ! That's no Superstar.
Last night, Yale and I went to see W. Keddler Ltd. Presents Jesus Christ Superstar. While it was nice to get out of the house, the two Hurricane Katrinas and one Mardi Tai I had before partaking of the show did not help me actually enjoy it.
The character of Jesus was played by Ted Neeley, the guy who portrayed him in the 1970s movie version of the musical. While I did not care for his style in the movie, I did go into the show thinking that a man’s performance must change over the 30 some odd years he’s been playing this part in various other productions. Boy, was I mistaken. His screeching through his musical numbers whenever he was supposed to hit a high note (yeah, that’s not called singing) made me feel comfortably at home—and remember, my home has a 6 month old who enjoys the reign of terror he has upon the household to its fullest extent. And by the way, I’ve seen more emoting from marionettes. Although when the actor is of social security age, it does make one wonder if his arthritis was simply acting up—and that would have been all the acting he did all night!
James Delisco was amazing as Judas; he just reinforced my belief that all the apostles should be talented black men with cornrows. I didn’t have very good seats and I could feel his commitment to the role where I was sitting. The highlight of the night was when he reappeared after Judas’ death and not only out sang everyone else but outdanced everyone else too.
The actual production elements were sad. Exhibit one: Costuming. Jesus was dressed in a white robe that looked like an overgrown costume from the Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Wow, putting Jesus in a white robe, how creative. I am so glad that Mary Magdalene was wearing a red dress. You never see that—the “scarlet woman” wearing red. I really hope the designer trademarks that idea because I know it will be copied in droves. However, someone didn’t light test their fabric, or at least they’re not listening to Tim Gunn and using Tide Total Care, because it wasn’t so much red as light maroon. When you put a woman in red, put her in RED. Anything else is just lazy. And why is it that when a woman becomes “good” you just put a blazer on her and she’s fixed? Give me a break. She also put on what seemed strangely like a mantilla at the death of Jesus. Why? The rest of the cast wore various rags in off white, brown, and mustard with the requisite sandals. Don’t hurt yourself now with the creativity; I wouldn’t want the costuming to get too out there or maybe I wouldn’t recognize the play. I actually enjoyed Herod—a man in purple lamé and knee high gold boots is always a fun time.
The set and light design were also very run of the mill. I realize that a touring show can’t have much in the way of scenery, but please, in the entrance to Jerusalem scene, could we not use palm fronds? Even fake ones would have been better than the potato sacks the actors were forced to twirl instead. Oh, but I forget—they probably blew the set budget on the big cross and the wires used to “resurrect” Jesus into the catwalk. I was almost suffocated by the cliché. What really pushed me over the edge was the final overlay of a light film that shot the shroud of Turin onto a big sheet from the catwalk to the floor. WTF?
The character of Jesus was played by Ted Neeley, the guy who portrayed him in the 1970s movie version of the musical. While I did not care for his style in the movie, I did go into the show thinking that a man’s performance must change over the 30 some odd years he’s been playing this part in various other productions. Boy, was I mistaken. His screeching through his musical numbers whenever he was supposed to hit a high note (yeah, that’s not called singing) made me feel comfortably at home—and remember, my home has a 6 month old who enjoys the reign of terror he has upon the household to its fullest extent. And by the way, I’ve seen more emoting from marionettes. Although when the actor is of social security age, it does make one wonder if his arthritis was simply acting up—and that would have been all the acting he did all night!
James Delisco was amazing as Judas; he just reinforced my belief that all the apostles should be talented black men with cornrows. I didn’t have very good seats and I could feel his commitment to the role where I was sitting. The highlight of the night was when he reappeared after Judas’ death and not only out sang everyone else but outdanced everyone else too.
The actual production elements were sad. Exhibit one: Costuming. Jesus was dressed in a white robe that looked like an overgrown costume from the Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Wow, putting Jesus in a white robe, how creative. I am so glad that Mary Magdalene was wearing a red dress. You never see that—the “scarlet woman” wearing red. I really hope the designer trademarks that idea because I know it will be copied in droves. However, someone didn’t light test their fabric, or at least they’re not listening to Tim Gunn and using Tide Total Care, because it wasn’t so much red as light maroon. When you put a woman in red, put her in RED. Anything else is just lazy. And why is it that when a woman becomes “good” you just put a blazer on her and she’s fixed? Give me a break. She also put on what seemed strangely like a mantilla at the death of Jesus. Why? The rest of the cast wore various rags in off white, brown, and mustard with the requisite sandals. Don’t hurt yourself now with the creativity; I wouldn’t want the costuming to get too out there or maybe I wouldn’t recognize the play. I actually enjoyed Herod—a man in purple lamé and knee high gold boots is always a fun time.
The set and light design were also very run of the mill. I realize that a touring show can’t have much in the way of scenery, but please, in the entrance to Jerusalem scene, could we not use palm fronds? Even fake ones would have been better than the potato sacks the actors were forced to twirl instead. Oh, but I forget—they probably blew the set budget on the big cross and the wires used to “resurrect” Jesus into the catwalk. I was almost suffocated by the cliché. What really pushed me over the edge was the final overlay of a light film that shot the shroud of Turin onto a big sheet from the catwalk to the floor. WTF?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A Quickie
1.) Jonah went to the doctor for his 6 month checkup and he is in the 47% in weight, 78% in head circumference, and the 98% in length. How is he this tall? I asked the doctor and he said, "Well, it must just be his genes." What genes? It's not like Yale and I are descendants of the Jolly Green Giant. He's already wearing 9 month clothes because he is so tall. I have so many outfits he has never worn because the weather wasn't right and now he's too big.
2.) My weight loss has stalled and I gained 2.5 lbs. this week. I blame....um.....the economy. That's what everything else is being blamed on, why not the fact that I am an undisciplined eater? I'm still about 10 lbs. from where I was when I got pregnant and that was about 20 lbs. more than I wanted to be, so that means......I'm screwed?
3.) School is horrible, as usual, and I still haven't figured out what I'm supposed to be learning this semester. It's almost Spring Break and we haven't passed the Civil War in Constitutional Law. I'm hoping it all comes together by exams enough for me to pass. At this point, all I want is to graduate and find a job somewhere that will cover my student loans. Anyone know how I can get a job teaching at an upper level? Anyone?
2.) My weight loss has stalled and I gained 2.5 lbs. this week. I blame....um.....the economy. That's what everything else is being blamed on, why not the fact that I am an undisciplined eater? I'm still about 10 lbs. from where I was when I got pregnant and that was about 20 lbs. more than I wanted to be, so that means......I'm screwed?
3.) School is horrible, as usual, and I still haven't figured out what I'm supposed to be learning this semester. It's almost Spring Break and we haven't passed the Civil War in Constitutional Law. I'm hoping it all comes together by exams enough for me to pass. At this point, all I want is to graduate and find a job somewhere that will cover my student loans. Anyone know how I can get a job teaching at an upper level? Anyone?
Monday, February 9, 2009
Big Girl You Are Beautiful!!!
I'm almost back into my pre-pregnancy jeans! I could probably wear them (with a forgiving shirt) right now, but as I still have some stretched out skin that hasn't bounced back yet, I will stay in my larger sized jeans (for all those who have to look at me, hee hee).
I was larger than I wanted to be when I got pregnant, but honestly if I could just get back in those clothes I would be happy.
My husband loves me the way I am and my little boy loves me the way I am, so I should love me the way I am, right? I'm working on it, really. Once you have a child you realize what's important in life and it certainly isn't the number on the inside of my jeans (although I do admit that if I found a brand that sized me at a 2, I would totally buy every pair they made, haha).
Although I really do need a haircut. It hasn't been cut since before Jonah was born and that's almost six months ago. Six!
School is going well, it's just hard to juggle that with being Mommy. I am probably doing the work I should have done in school all along, because I know I won't be able to play catch up later, and man, that is tiring. I prefer being lazy. :-)
I was larger than I wanted to be when I got pregnant, but honestly if I could just get back in those clothes I would be happy.
My husband loves me the way I am and my little boy loves me the way I am, so I should love me the way I am, right? I'm working on it, really. Once you have a child you realize what's important in life and it certainly isn't the number on the inside of my jeans (although I do admit that if I found a brand that sized me at a 2, I would totally buy every pair they made, haha).
Although I really do need a haircut. It hasn't been cut since before Jonah was born and that's almost six months ago. Six!
School is going well, it's just hard to juggle that with being Mommy. I am probably doing the work I should have done in school all along, because I know I won't be able to play catch up later, and man, that is tiring. I prefer being lazy. :-)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Jenna Spice
Why are so many people rocking the Victoria Beckham, asymmetrical bob that I sported with glee over a year ago? Uh, I totally was first on that boat and, seriously, that ship has sailed.
You don't see people still sporting The Rachel, do you?
Well, outside of Mississippi....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
