While putting off working on my essay for Native American Law, I can across this article on The Daily Mail's website about the phenomenon called "The Mummy Tuck."
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=563799&in_page_id=1774
I LOVE the British newspaper because it is unflinchingly biased in its stories and it insults the WAGs, even though I really wish I could be one. The point is though, is that now I am terrified about what I will look like post-Jonah.
I have never had the best body image which I am pretty sure relates directly to my mental health issues (you all know about the body I have buried in my backyard, right?). I lost lots of weight my Junior year of high school through rather unhealthy means, lost even more my Freshman year of college through even more unhealthy means, then began to gain it back after finally realizing that I wasn't helping anyone with my behavior, certainly not myself. Unfortunately, I gained more than I would have liked to (hell, I would have liked to stay the size I was Freshman year--damn I was little) and before I found out I was pregnant, I had gotten to my heaviest weight ever. I had decided to start an exercise regimen/diet the day before the test said "Pregnant." So the point of this is that I was the heaviest I had ever been before I began gaining even more weight by being pregnant. I've only gained 15-17 lbs. so far (God knows how), but the fact that I know that precisely makes me know that this isn't healthy thinking.
Now this article has me freaking out even more. The first woman nursed, which I had been planning on doing, and she went to a "deflated" size A afterwards. I don't want Sarah Jessica Parker boobs! I've gotten a couple of stretch marks on my baby belly (which are actually due more to hormones than weight gain, I have found out) and even though they are small and I've never really been the midriff bearing type, I'm still very self-conscious and can envision myself with elephant skin akin to those gastric bypass patients in their "after" pictures or perhaps a deflated inner tube.
The rational part of me says, who cares, you'll be a mom and almost all moms have similar worries or problems. But honestly, I already have a big ass--I don't want a nasty tummy with floppy boobs to match. How do these stars do it? Heidi Klum has three kids and looks better than any normal person I've ever met. Nicole Richie looks wonderful only a few months postpartum. Hell, I met my friend Amelia when she had a six month old and she looked amazing then!!
I know why women get postpartum depression--it's not a chemical imbalance. It's because they look like a 90-year-old woman and they have to deal with every other mom looking like a million bucks! I know plastic surgery would fix it, and while I'm not at all opposed to it, I would still feel really selfish and awful for having it after I have kids (Has anyone else seen the Secret Lives of Women: I'm addicted to plastic surgery with that stupid woman who'd had $40,000 of post-baby plastic surgery and still looked pretty terrible? No? I'm the only one that pathetic?).
Any thoughts? What does everyone else feel about the mummy tuck article? Am I just being crazy or do I have some valid fears?
1 comment:
I actually considered having a c-tuck with Fiona (c-section/tummy tuck) I didn't want the c-section, but since my Dr was being an ass and refusing to let me attempt a normal birth I figured I would go for it. But my insurance wouldn't cover anything that wasn't absolutely neccesary so it never happened. 3 years later I still sometimes wish I could have done it.
I won't lie- odds are, the pre-baby body won't come back. Sometimes it does, so it's not impossible. More often than not, from what I have seen, women spend a great deal of time dieting and exercising and doing everything in their power to get back to pre-pregnancy weight, and not realizing that even when the numbers on the scale are the same- their bodies are still not going to look the same.
I've spent almost 2 years now doing everything in my power to be as fit and healthy as I can. I watch my diet carefully, I exercise on a regular basis, hell, I've even taken up yoga and running! And I am trying to learn to accept that the body I have is never going to be the body I want. A good friend of mine told me that her plan after kids was to look and feel great when dressed- that what she saw with a critical eye getting out of the shower didn't matter, as long as she could project confidence outwardly. Hopefully one day I can have that same attitude, and hopefully, post Jonah, you'll find that outward confidence as well.
~Mary-Catherine
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