Damn Nature, You Scary!!

Today I take my last exam!!! Woowho!!!!!!
I also found a Mimi Maternity dress for the wedding at Hudson's (yes, Hudson's) for only $30.00, originally $148.00. Pretty cool.
The only thing is, I've started that whole "what the hell is going on with my body" part of the pregnancy.
Jonah is very active, which is really cool. I thought it would be creepy, but it's actually quite reassuring--especially since you spend the first trimester kind of wondering what the hell is happening in there.
The problem comes in that I am a very independent person and I've had to start asking for help doing things. It's hard to bend at the waist (after all, there is a little person in there--a baby, not a midget) and all my internal organs are being crowded. Breathing is becoming a bit more difficult and it seems like my heart is racing all the time (don't worry though, apparently none of this is outside the realm of normal). I can't really get comfortable to sleep (although I blame some of that on the 50 lb. brown dog who doesn't seem to understand that I can sleep without his protection) and when I do sleep it seems like I have acid reflux ALL THE TIME.
I know I really shouldn't be complaining because, all in all, I've had a very normal pregnancy, thank God. But it is really strange to suddenly have your body doing all these things for which you are really just the spectator. It's not like I have to go, "Okay, I think today we'll grow the liver," it just happens--which is pretty awesome because I'm terribly afraid that if I was running this whole show I would forget something important, like eyebrows, and then my child would look funny for the rest of his life. The fact that NOTHING that is happening is within my powers of control makes this control-freak pretty mental.
I've never been one of those "Miracle of Life" people (in fact I've always thought those people got into some bad--or really good--granola) but I do finally understand what those loonies have meant. It is pretty amazing that the human body just knows what to do. It forms all the necessary parts without even thinking about it (something that we humans still can't do--this comment is pointed to the people who constructed our refrigerator that still isn't cooling correctly even though it's not over a year old and it's been worked on twice--ERGH). I just waddle along, eating my Egg McMuffins (which Jonah seems to LOVE, btw) while everything (hopefully) just falls into place. Oh yeah, plus all those annoying symptoms that seem to be nature's little way of saying "Hey, a little respect! I'm really working hard here while you watch true crime shows and eat Ice Pops!"

Mission: Impossible

Jonah's room is being done in dinosaurs. (Yes, I realize this a complete 180 from what I had originally planned, but Yale was right: I can never go with my first decision). Specifically, the Jurassic collection from Pottery Barn Kids (I'm a little obsessed).


Jonah's room is being done in dinosaurs. (Yes, I realize this a complete 180 from what I had originally planned, but Yale was right: I can never go with my first decision). Specifically, the Jurassic collection from Pottery Barn Kids (I'm a little obsessed).

It's been sold out online for a while, but Ebay is awesome and I've gotten pretty much everything I need from there: Crib bedding, bedding to go on the twin bed I'm putting in the baby room (Mama's gonna need some rest in between feedings). Things I am currently looking for (and they don't HAVE to come from Pottery Barn):

A dinosaur mobile
Dinosaur plush toys
A dinosaur laundry hamper (either a liner or one of those canvas collapsibles)


Plus I'm pretty much looking for anything that any Pottery Barn Kids store still has in this collection (Minus the bedding, of course).


Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it:
Help one crazy mama who still has two exams left scour the Pottery Barn Kids stores looking for my spoiled first son's nursery accessories.
This is probably an impossibility since it's kind of an old line (it's only got one thing online left for babies and very little left for big kids--yes, I bought them all!) but I would really be indebted to anyone who could track me something down.

Extreme Sadness

I just packed up a bunch of clothes that I will not be able to wear this summer. Lots of really cute clothes. Clothes that I am afraid I will never be able to wear again.
Some still had the tags on them. Damn pre-baby winter sales.
I did this very depressing task in lieu of studying for my BA exam. What does that tell you about how horrible BA is?

The Mummy Tuck

While putting off working on my essay for Native American Law, I can across this article on The Daily Mail's website about the phenomenon called "The Mummy Tuck."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=563799&in_page_id=1774

I LOVE the British newspaper because it is unflinchingly biased in its stories and it insults the WAGs, even though I really wish I could be one. The point is though, is that now I am terrified about what I will look like post-Jonah.
I have never had the best body image which I am pretty sure relates directly to my mental health issues (you all know about the body I have buried in my backyard, right?). I lost lots of weight my Junior year of high school through rather unhealthy means, lost even more my Freshman year of college through even more unhealthy means, then began to gain it back after finally realizing that I wasn't helping anyone with my behavior, certainly not myself. Unfortunately, I gained more than I would have liked to (hell, I would have liked to stay the size I was Freshman year--damn I was little) and before I found out I was pregnant, I had gotten to my heaviest weight ever. I had decided to start an exercise regimen/diet the day before the test said "Pregnant." So the point of this is that I was the heaviest I had ever been before I began gaining even more weight by being pregnant. I've only gained 15-17 lbs. so far (God knows how), but the fact that I know that precisely makes me know that this isn't healthy thinking.
Now this article has me freaking out even more. The first woman nursed, which I had been planning on doing, and she went to a "deflated" size A afterwards. I don't want Sarah Jessica Parker boobs! I've gotten a couple of stretch marks on my baby belly (which are actually due more to hormones than weight gain, I have found out) and even though they are small and I've never really been the midriff bearing type, I'm still very self-conscious and can envision myself with elephant skin akin to those gastric bypass patients in their "after" pictures or perhaps a deflated inner tube.
The rational part of me says, who cares, you'll be a mom and almost all moms have similar worries or problems. But honestly, I already have a big ass--I don't want a nasty tummy with floppy boobs to match. How do these stars do it? Heidi Klum has three kids and looks better than any normal person I've ever met. Nicole Richie looks wonderful only a few months postpartum. Hell, I met my friend Amelia when she had a six month old and she looked amazing then!!
I know why women get postpartum depression--it's not a chemical imbalance. It's because they look like a 90-year-old woman and they have to deal with every other mom looking like a million bucks! I know plastic surgery would fix it, and while I'm not at all opposed to it, I would still feel really selfish and awful for having it after I have kids (Has anyone else seen the Secret Lives of Women: I'm addicted to plastic surgery with that stupid woman who'd had $40,000 of post-baby plastic surgery and still looked pretty terrible? No? I'm the only one that pathetic?).
Any thoughts? What does everyone else feel about the mummy tuck article? Am I just being crazy or do I have some valid fears?

Don't look at me! Look at the Bride!

I have a wedding to go to in June for one of Yale's best friends. Yale is actually in the wedding. I am obsessing over what I'm going to wear.
It is very difficult to find a maternity dress to wear that doesn't look like a mu-mu (not that I have anything against mu-mus). I actually bought two really beautiful dresses from Ann Taylor last fall when I found out about the wedding (because they were on sale and I love the way Ann Taylor makes their dress). I even bought matching shoes! This, of course, was before I was pregnant, and now all I can do is look at them and dream of the day I will fit back in them (much like all of my clothes at this point).
So now I am on the hunt for something to wear. While I do love most of the maternity clothes I've bought (Old Navy for shirts, Gap for pants/dresses) I haven't found anything that is dressy enough for a wedding--apparently we pregnant ladies aren't supposed to go anywhere that requires something more than a jersey skirt and a tank top.
I've found a dress at J.Crew that I really want to fit but I have an idea doesn't. I really haven't change sizes too much, but with the bigger boobs comes the need for bigger tops (this is why you don't get implants, ladies) and the bigger tummy presents some obvious problems. I'm not really too big right now (it mostly looks like I've drank a whole keg or possibly gave birth a few months ago and haven't gotten my ass up to exercise) but by June, who knows!

Here is the dress. I feel like it MIGHT fit, but then I don't want to spend that much money on a dress that only has the potential to fit. Does anyone know where I can get a dress that doesn't look horrible and I will still be able to wear later if it's expensive?
P.S.--Don't Google "maternity clothes" because you will get some SCARY results, trust me. Although "maternity wedding dresses" is pretty funny.

My Bump, My Bump, My Lovely Baby Bump

Shelby has demanded pictures of the baby bump but we don't have any. So I was going to post pictures of Vicky B., my idol, when she was pregnant, however I have found a VERY strange phenomenon.
This is the only picture I could find on the internet of Mrs. Beckham pregnant:


It's from her first pregnancy with son Brooklyn, nine years ago. NINE!! One of the most photographed women in the world who has spent at least 27 months of her life pregnant, has only one picture of her in this state that has been widely distributed.
I realize that it's only been in recent years that the celebrity baby craze has exploded, but she does have Cruz, who's three--how is it that there are no other pictures of her with child?! This one dates from the first incarnation of the Spice Girls. I just can't figure this out.

Veggie Tales

Since I've been pregnant, I've wanted tons of veggies!
My favorite thing to eat is baby carrots dipped in ranch dressing. I'm also partial to string beans, butter beans, salad, and just about any kind of vegetable you throw at me (yes, I'll eat those too). My new favorite meal is the avocado pizza from the Mellow Mushroom. I know, it sounds nasty, and I am admitting that it probably is for the normal person, but I am in love! I also like the veggie pizzas from Pizza Shack and veggie subs from Subway. I'm telling you, anything that is fresh I want. I've also been big on fruits, but that is nothing new to anyone who knows me. Strawberries, peaches, apples, bananas, yummy!!!!!
Sadly, another thing I've been wanting is Fun Pops, those Popsicles that you buy by the gross from the supermarket that are liquid then you freeze them. I ate four yesterday. So the way I see it, Jonah's getting a pretty well rounded diet right now.